“I think I might be a sociopath.”
This is a sentence I’ve heard more than a few times from more than a few people. Once, when I was making ramen in a kitchen at 2 a.m. with a guy I had just befriended, him wielding a knife as he told me he felt no emotions and had self-diagnosed as sociopathic through an online test. Once, through a snapchat message with no context. Once in line for lunch at Seibel servery. And once while I was writing this post, as my friend looked over my shoulder at my screen and said, “Sociopathy? I think I have that. I feel no emotions.”
MayoClinic provides this definition for sociopathy:
“Antisocial personality disorder, sometimes called sociopathy, is a mental disorder in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others. People with antisocial personality disorder tend to antagonize, manipulate or treat others harshly or with callous indifference. They show no guilt or remorse for their behavior.”
MayoClinic also states that a medical diagnosis is required to know if one has this disorder. However, a quick Google search of sociopathy will lead you to a book by Harvard psychologist Martha Stout called The Sociopath Next Door, where she claims that “your ex was not just misunderstood. He’s a sociopath. And your boss, teacher, and colleague? They may be sociopaths too.”
In general, there seems to be a lack of agreement on what exactly sociopathy is, despite it widely being treated as a clinical disorder. As I was researching for this post, I came to find that sociopathy, psychopathy, and antisociality were all terms used loosely and interchangeably. Furthermore, some sources claimed that sociopaths were unable to feel empathy or remorse, while others classified sociopaths as people who simply ignored their better judgment.
That is to say, a sociopath could literally be anyone, because sociopathy doesn’t truly exist–at least not as a concrete diagnosis. It is more a constructed identity than a diagnosable disorder. Martha Stout’s claim that “One in twenty-five everyday Americans…is secretly a sociopath” holds true thanks to this lack of diagnosability. Anyone who feels that being a moral agent is difficult may choose to identify as sociopathic.
At this point, I want to note that all four of the people who have “come out” to me as sociopaths are men. Maybe four times is not a statistically significant number, but I can’t help but wonder, what is up with my male friends and identifying as sociopaths? I have several girlfriends who admit to not being the most emotionally in tune–maybe even to feeling “dead inside”– but not one of them has ever deemed themselves sociopathic. This gender trend, unsurprisingly, is also found in the larger population, with men being 6 times more likely than women to have antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), according to psycom.net.
If we understand sociopathy to be a disorder with genetic and/or situational triggers, then this gender difference could be interpreted as inherent, perhaps latent in the male biology or an inevitable outcome of male socialization. But treating high rates of male sociopathy as a medical phenomenon runs the risk of reifying it. Connell and Messerschmidt’s critique of reification is applicable here, where “Men’s behavior is reified in a concept of masculinity that then, in a circular argument, becomes the explanation (and the excuse) for the behavior” (840). If we believe men are less emotionally adept and more aggressive naturally, this becomes how we both understand and excuse high rates of male sociopathy.
Understanding sociopathy to be a constructed identity, on the other hand, allows us to analyze how constructs of masculinity influence who chooses to adopt this identity. I know, as a fact, that all 4 of my friends who labeled themselves “sociopathic” experience emotions. I know that they have the ability to conceive of moral right and wrong. I know this because I have had conversations with them where they admitted to feeling guilty for actions that may have hurt others. So why do they call themselves sociopaths, while my female friends don’t?
As a society, we expect our men to be stoic and aggressive. We expect our women to be nurturing and emotional. For women, not being able to feel is a failure to be feminine. Maybe more is at stake for women to admit to not feeling emotions. In the same vein, maybe more is to be gained for men to call themselves sociopaths. If someone is literally unable to feel remorse, if their brain makes it impossible for them to act as moral agents, then how could you blame them for any of their destructive behaviors? What if they experienced trauma in their childhood? What if they had an abnormality in their brain structure? Calling oneself a sociopath is the equivalent of saying “this is just the way I was born,” or, “this is just how I was raised.” You are no longer responsible for your actions, because you just can’t help it. Maybe dismissing your stunted emotional development as a symptom or condition is easier than working through trauma and developing emotional literacy, especially when you aren’t given the tools to do the latter.
Emotional labor is hard. It is called labor for a reason. And without the right instruction, how can one be expected to know how to perform it?
-Star Han-
Sources
https://www.psycom.net/antisocial-personality-disorder/
The Sociopath Next Door, Martha Stout
Hegemonic Masculinity: Rethinking the Concept, Connell and Messerschmidt
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