What is the relationship between time and gender?
It seems that in many cases, time does not treat femininity and masculinity equally, at least according to the common cultural narratives. While femininity is treated like it is constantly at war with time, masculinity is seen as more eternal, more durable to the wear and tear of time, at least in its reputation and perception.
Much of this distinction is likely rooted in biological distinctions between the male and female sexes, which are also frequently used to justify the gender binary. Most of us hear the same story about these differences in high school biology (or maybe health class or even sex-ed; I wouldn’t know about either of those, I grew up in Texas). Regardless of where this instruction takes place, many of us learn that a female-sexed body is born with a set amount of eggs; from birth to death, this body will never produce new eggs, and when it hits puberty, it will lose an egg each month with menstruation. On the other hand, we learn, a male-sexed body will reproduce sperm throughout it’s life. It will have a never-ending supply of swimmers, waiting to meet an egg and produce lots of babies. This is the instruction that a lot of us will get, and often the conversation will be centered on the topic of kids. The distinction between a penis and a vagina (and other respectively related organs) will come down to this: male bodies have the ability to father children for the majority of their lives, but female bodies will only have a limited timeframe to get pregnant and give birth.
Our capitalist, consumer culture so often values people based on their ability to reproduce. So in this way men are more valuable throughout their life because they can still create more children, more future consumers, regardless of their age, unlike women. This ultimately affects perceptions of masculinity and feminity in a variety of ways. For example, it can influence how cross-generational relationships are viewed and treated. When a man dates a younger woman, people will generally approve or at least accept it. One reason why: because despite his years above her, he can still give her a child. But when a woman is in a relationship with a younger man, it raises many more questions and concerns. And a common “issue” raised by third parties is the fact that at her more senior age she will not be able to give him a family.
Looking at the way various beauty products for different genders are marketed is another case where masculinity has a better reputation with time. For example, Just For Men’s “Touch of Gray” hair coloring product promises to “[take] away a little gray for a Salt + Pepper look.” A 2009 commercial for this product promised men an appearance that represented the “energy” of a younger man and the “experience” of an older man. While this product does suggest that there is a “sweet spot” for men’s age, it also acknowledges that men are often viewed positively at all ages, only the exact reasons for these perceptions may shift. However, products for women are constantly marketed using phrases like “fight the test of time” and “restore your youthful complexion.” Things like anti-aging serums and wrinkle creams perpetuate the idea that women are most attractive when they are at an age between puberty and menopause.
The emphasis on having children is present throughout society, and it can most clearly be seen in the common social and cultural expectations for a person’s life path. There is a general series of life stages and milestones that have been set by heteronormative standards, and the majority of people in society are largely expected to follow it: birth, childhood, teen years, college (or other formative twenty-something experiences), marriage, children, retirement and grandchildren, and finally death. Even though deviations from this course are actually very normal, it is still seen in society as the standard that everyone “naturally” goes through. One of the most controversial deviations from this path is a person’s decision to not have children; whether positively or negatively, it is considered counterculture to not carry on one’s family line.
“Marriage and grandparenting are regarded as normative activities and meaningful stages within healthy adulthood, yet gay men and lesbians most often negotiate and maintain partnerships in ways quite distinct from those of spousal relationships, and most are not natal parents.” (Thompson 2004, Expressions of Manhood: Reconciling Sexualities, Masculinities, and Aging)
For masculinity specifically, life expectations are often set by the hegemony, and therefore they reflect multiple biases that dictate what an “ideal” man looks like, and in this case how he chooses to live his life through the years.
“In an important sense there is only one complete unblushing male in America: a young, married, white, urban, northern, heterosexual, Protestant, father, of college education, fully employed, of good complexion, weight, and height, and a recent record in sports” (Goffman 1963, Stigma)
According to heteronormative biases, masculinity is more “immortal” so to speak because it associated with the male sex organs and their long-lasting vitality. The higher regard given to masculinity especially in later stages of life is byproduct of our society’s obsession with consumption and, consequently, with reproduction.
– Savannah Kuchar
Sources
https://ageing-equal.org/ageism-and-gender/
https://academic.oup.com/gerontologist/article/44/5/714/798741
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0mT7Ep9IyM