By Zoe Clark

A popular controlling image of black women is the black matriarch. When I thought of a black matriarch, I thought of my grandmother. My perspective of the black matriarch was shaped by my grandmother who was a black woman who is the was the leader and center of my mother’s side of the family. She brought my family together and instilled our traditions. The trope of the black matriarch is different than my own experience. The black matriarch is a woman who emasculates a man. The black matriarch is seen as one of the culprits of the emasculation of black men. Emasculation is a word I had heard about but never thought much about. Most of my family are women, therefore masculinity is something I rarely thought about as there was very little of my own experience with it in my family. What is considered emasculation? How does a woman emasculate a man? I thought this blog post would be a good opportunity to explore emasculation.

I watched four YouTube videos titled “Examples of Emasculation,” “MOTHERS EMASCULATING THEIR SONS,” “MEN ARE BECOMING EMASCULATED -Elliot Hulse l London Real,” and “Emotional Men- MEN ARE BECOMING EMASCULATED” which are all from different YouTube creators. In the video “Examples of Emasculation,” Rickey Smiley, a popular black radio DJ host, spoke on emasculation of black men within their families. Smiley discusses men who play the role of father figures being undermined through the words the mothers tell them. Disagreements between men and women should not be dine in front of children because this will lead to the undermining of male authority and therefore the emasculation of men. Smiley believes that if women supported men’s authority and male children toughened up through physical labor, emasculation would not be such an issue. The creator of “MOTHERS EMASCULATING THEIR SONS” Shareef Ali, uses an example of a mother disciplining her son when her daughter was injured while playing at the park. Ali saw this child as exercising his masculinity and his mother was emasculating him which will manifest further in the future. The main speaker Elliot Hussle speaks in “MEN ARE BECOMING EMASCULATED -Elliot Hulse l London Real” about the flip flop oh more feminine men and more masculine men, which is causing the destruction of traditional heterosexual relationships. Casey Zander, creator of “Emotional Men- MEN ARE BECOMING EMASCULATED,” has seen through his work as a lifestyle and fitness coach that men are weak and this is affecting them biologically, lowered testosterone and men being overweight, and emotionally. In his belief, technology also has a role that prevents real connection of men and women.  Men are no longer the warrior leaders they used to be in his dad’s generation and beyond. These videos have some common beliefs while also further the exploring the idea of what

The basis of the concept of the emasculation of the modern male, from these creators’ perspective, is that men no longer are the men they used to be. Men are no longer the leaders in their relationships with women and in their families. They are being subjugated by their female relatives, their girlfriends, wives, and their mothers. Men are no longer displaying traditionally masculine behaviors and carrying out traditionally masculine roles. This does not mean that masculinity is changing but it means that men are becoming more feminine. By expressing your emotions as a man or not being decisive, these men are being treated like equals to women which makes them more feminine, which in turn makes them weak. Women and the emasculation of men are going against the “natural” masculinity of men. According to Casey Zander, the creator of “Emotional Men- MEN ARE BECOMING EMASCULATED,” men are no longer “warriors.” Men are no longer decisive, physically and mentally strong, authority figures, that women look to for guidance of their families.

The origin of emasculation is women. Women are questioning the decisions of men, “undermining” them according to Rickey Smiley. Women as they have gained rights and opportunities have become more masculine. Women’s increased embodiment of masculinity has taken men’s roles in their relationship with women and subjugating men to a subservient position. The emasculation of men starts with their mothers in childhood. Mothers punish “leadership” when they perceive it as bossiness. This idea stems from the idea that boys become men by exercising their innate masculinity. When the innate masculinity is controlled through socialization and teaching.

The emasculation concept is something that stems from an ideal hegemonic masculinity, nostalgia for toxic masculinity, and idealized femininity. The emasculation of men in seen mostly in intimate space of family and romantic relationships. The emasculation of men in the family setting leads to men as a group being “emasculated.” Men who perpetuate the idea that men as a group are being emasculated see how the man effects of emasculation. Men are seemingly becoming more emotional, considerate, and less dominating which means they are no longer being like men. They are becoming more feminine and more like women. The role of the traditionally masculine male is no longer available as men and women are becoming more equal. in the idealize the traditional gender dynamics of the past and oppose the existence of other types of femininity and masculinity. The father is the leader, who provides, structure, while the mother is the nurturer who follows the guidance of her husband.

One of my personal issues with the concept of emasculation, besides the fact it relies on traditional beliefs of toxic masculinity, is that it does not discuss how other parties are impacted by this traditional masculinity. It gives guidelines of men’s behaviors, such as be a leader, be decisive, be strong. What is the response that a woman or non-traditionally masculine person encounters when a man feels like his masculinity is being threatened? Will he resort to violence to express his authority? The traditional masculinity of yesteryear is idealized in the eyes of people who claim emasculation. Traditional masculinity is seen as the solution to all problems. Women would return to being feminine women. The world’s natural leaders would regain control of society and right social ills like increased divorce and obesity.  The idea of emasculation claims to explain why the world is in the state its in while failing to acknowledge that there are other issues at play in the nostalgia of the past. The idea that if men regain dominance in the home, then all other issues will fall into place is a near sided idea.  Not all men have experienced dominance in society, especially in the time of subjugation of people of color and women. Men actually continue to dominate society even if the men claiming emasculation do not see it. What men who claim emasculation want to see is the increased dominance of men. When women and people of color make steps towards equality, some people want to see time go backwards.

My final question is: If a man’s sense of self and self-worth comes from his execution of traditional masculinity, then what kind of person is he?